Happy Buy Nothing Day!

Is it just me, or has Black Friday become a pox on society? This is a day that was once a cheerful, albeit busy shopping holiday for Americans the day after Thanksgiving. Stores opened at 8am, then 6am. Last year, Wal-Mart opened its doors at midnight and Target opened at 4am. This year, however, in a bid to outdo other retailers, Wal-Mart opened at 10pm on Thanksgiving night, while Target opened two hours later at midnight. And people flocked to the stores in the hopes of getting so-called "door buster" deals.

Today so far, we've heard of people pepper spraying other customers in what can only be called a territorial tactic, an older gentleman was tackled by police for putting a game in his waistband so he could carry his grandson (cops thought he was stealing), two women were injured after a fight broke out between other customers and they were caught in the middle.

In North Carolina, off-duty police officers used pepper spray on the crowds lining up to shop because they thought the crowds were fighting. A retired cop told WNCT News that there was no fight and that one officer was doing it wrong. Gordon Jackson, the retired officer, took his granddaughter with him, when one of the off-duty cops "was raining it over the whole crowd, so it will rain down on their heads." Some of that pepper spray, he said, hit his granddaughter, who is asthmatic. She ended up in the emergency room as a result of the officer's overreaction, and Jackson ended up arrested over a fight that he says never even occurred.

In South Carolina, a shooting was reported, likely the result of an attempted robbery. The majority of these incidents happened in or near Wal-Mart. What does that tell you? Does it tell you Wal-Mart shouldn't be opening at 10pm on Thanksgiving night? Does it tell you that Wal-Mart shoppers willing to brave the crowds are certifiable?

At what point did Thanksgiving become a shopping holiday, rather than a day of giving thanks? At what point do retail stores open at 5pm on Thanksgiving Day just to have another edge on the competition? In a lousy economy like this, you'd better believe there will be people willing to sacrifice time with their family to work that day. It's bad enough that gas station and convenience stores have to be open. Someone has to sell you gas and toilet paper when you run out unexpectedly, but retail stores have no reason to be open at such ungodly hours other than to get as many sales as possible.

It's tragic. Do you remember the Wal-Mart employee who was killed in the stampede in New York state during the Black Friday madness in 2008? That year, a total of three people died in the post Thanksgiving Day rush to get the latest deals. In that same Long Island store, an 8-month pregnant woman miscarried due to the violence that erupted during the 5am opening.

Do people never learn? How is it that, year after year, folks are lured by the promise of incredible deals to shop on the most dangerous day of the year? It's madness, nothing more. Until more people boycott it, nothing will change.

Here's a link of the 13 most brutal Black Friday incidents to remind you why you should stay very far away from the madness. This comes in handy whenever I dare to think about venturing out of the house other than to buy toilet paper or milk. 

And for your viewing pleasure, here's some retro Christmas music: WHAM!

Ever Read Through Old Emails From Your Exes?

I finally escaped the toxic relationships of my past! 

I was looking at my old email inbox -- the one I haven't used in about 2 years -- because I felt it was time to clean it out and see if there was anything there worth saving. I came across a folder where I held all of the emails I'd gotten from an ex-boyfriend (let's call him "Bob") I dated many years ago.

Reading through them was hard, especially those where the relationship was clearly over and I was stubbornly hanging on. Even though several years have passed and I am happily married now, I felt physically stressed and upset after reading through them. I had to stop and find something fun to do just to get my mind off of it all.

It made me wonder why people continue on in toxic co-dependent relationships. It was clear from about 3 months into our relationship that "Bob" didn't know what he wanted and began to say things that made me question myself. I'll admit, I'm not the most tidy person in the world, but my fear of his disapproval had me frantically looking for tiny scraps on the floor just in case I'd missed something. One time, he complained that I left store tags on the floor, but then the next day he left his socks on the stairs. When I brought that to his attention, he'd say, "They're on the stairs because they're on the way to the washing machine. I'm doing laundry soon." And then he's say my mess had no purpose and that I just dropped things wherever.

He may have been right about it, but looking back, it still didn't excuse his own behavior.

Everything became my fault. "If only you'd do _____, then I might love you more."

It was a classic case of me trying to jump through hoops and he was secretly enjoying every minute of it. When this behavior first started, it was subtle, and apologetic. I remember distinctly one day he couldn't bear to kiss me because I hadn't waxed my upper lip and some of the hair had grown back. He acted embarrassed about it, and said it was just distracting, so I ran out immediately and bought a facial wax kit. I wanted to look perfect for him!

It was really pathetic, and too many women fall for this, even the smart ones. Some women fall for this over and over again, and never find a man who really loves them for who they are because they're so focused on pleasing someone who will never be pleased!

During the latter part of our relationship, he'd send me copies of his resume and cover letter to look over. Being an employment specialist, I'd look them over and give him my opinion. Here's a typical exchange:

How not to treat your significant other...

After we'd broken up, Bob had continued to string me along for a while, making me think we'd get back together by spending time with me and inviting me over for the night. He always ignored me the next morning, as if I didn't exist, so I knew I had to break free from this cycle. I finally did, and opened myself up to being alone when I accidentally found my soulmate -- a man I'd gone to high school with.

When I told Bob that I was getting married a few months later, he didn't believe me. He was convinced that I could never let him go. What he didn't know was that by that time, I'd already let him go and moved on. I was only with him for 7 months, but he strung me along for another 5, and I'd grown tired of it. Bob knew through a mutual friend that James had spent some time living in a religious community, Jesus People USA, which is a communal environment where people live, work, and serve the poor. When I made it clear to Bob that I was, indeed, marrying this man, he said, "FINE! Have fun with your Jesus freak!"

Funny thing is, James isn't what you'd call a "Jesus freak." He's just a guy who believes in God and thinks Jesus should be followed, not worshiped. There's a big difference in that line of thinking and I agree with it. Neither James nor I are overly religious, which made Bob's outburst all the more ridiculous. We don't even attend church, although I've visited a Unitarian Universalist congregation here, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

After reading all of these emails and saved IMs (I knew I was saving them for a reason!), I realized how lucky I am to have gotten away from the toxic sludge of that relationship. I realized how truly gifted I am to have a husband who isn't above serving others selflessly. I realize how childish I was to cling to something that clearly wasn't working, and how the overall relationship was built on nothing more than flattery and sex.

My husband doesn't call me princess. He rarely buys me flowers (he's bought them once, on my birthday this year after I told him I'd really love some). He doesn't manipulate me. He doesn't play mind games, and he certainly doesn't compare me (favorably or unfavorably) to other women. He doesn't care if I forget to shave my armpits every now and then, and he isn't repelled by the fact that I've obviously gained a few pounds since Stella's birth.

He still sees me as the woman he fell in love with -- a chaotic, messy woman who couldn't balance a checkbook to save her life!

My Failed Attempt at Crayon Art

It's depressing. It's dark. It's globby. It's completely different than I'd originally anticipated. My intention was to go for a 'Peace' symbol, but it didn't exactly work out that way. I ironed my design through wax paper as instructed, lifted the paper and was greeted with a big blob of melted wax. 


So, I tried blow-drying it, to get some drip effect going. The result was spectacularly ugly. It wasn't just ugly, it was downright scary. I posted the result to my Facebook page, and a few people were brave enough to comment on its otherworldly quality. 


I, for one, saw an alien monster emerging from an imploding earth, while another friend said she saw a frog-leg on the bottom left. Another friend said it looked like "a twisted vision of Earth from space," but with Africa backwards. Some friends were disturbed by the image, and suggested a ritual burning to rid the world of its creepiness. 


My husband told me to not give it to anyone who is depressed because it'll just make them go into hysterics and jump off a bridge. Or something. He insisted on hiding it and forbade me from hanging it in our daughter's room. Not that I'd do that, anyway. 


So, what does this say about my deep, inner psyche? Is there any hidden message here? 


Why yes, yes there is. The message is, stick to sewing. I suck as an artist. 


And here it is, ladies and gents. The failure. The miserable attempt at...something...I made last night. 

I wonder if Van Gogh was ever frightened by his own art.

Guilt-Free Meatless Lasagna!

A slice of guilt-free heaven. 

James and I are trying to reduce our meat intake because the price is getting a bit too high for our comfort and because it's the healthy thing to do. Really, humans don't need the amount of meat that we normally consume, so it's no wonder Americans have all sorts of health problems. 

I could go on about all the nasty, over-processed foods, but that's a topic for a different day. In any event, I decided I was in the mood to make a vegetarian lasagna, so I hit up my local Sprouts market to see what I could find. What I came out with ended up in the most delicious, delectable vegetarian lasagna I've ever eaten. 

I'm going to say right now that I didn't measure these ingredients precisely, so if you need more or less, go ahead and experiment. I have a really bad habit of just throwing things together and trying to figure out how much of something I had, and I'm trying to get better. Sometimes I forget and just wing it, though. It's a damn hard habit to break, I tell you. Kind of like remembering to put on my apron so I can get in full domestic diva mode. Anyway, here's the ingredient list: 

Pasta

No-boil lasagna (this is the stuff you don't have to cook before laying it down in the pan.

Sauce

3 to 4 oz. fresh spinach 

3/4 cup fresh chopped broccoli (should be chopped into small pieces.)

3 cloves of fresh garlic, minced (instructions on mincing with a mortar and pestle here).

2 stalks celery, chopped

4 to 5 stalks of fresh cilantro, minced. (I have no idea what measurement that comes to!)

6 green onions, chopped

1/2 green bell pepper, chopped

1/2 red bell pepper, chopped

1/4 large yellow onion, chopped

2 tblsp dried basil

1 can diced tomatoes

1 8oz can tomato sauce

1 6oz can tomato paste

1/4 cup water

A few shakes of salt from the shaker 

2 tsp ground black pepper

1/2 tsp paprika

2 tsp Italian seasoning

Cheese mixture

1 8oz package shredded mozzarella cheese

1 egg

1 cup ricotta cheese

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

2 tblsp sour cream

Topping

4 slices provolone cheese

***Don't let the long ingredient list scare you away, because this lasagna is incredibly easy to make. It's a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and the final result is a vegetable lasagna that will have you melting with pleasure. Like my husband said, "I almost don't miss the meat." With him being a meat-lovin' guy, that's saying a lot! ***

The meatless ingredients.

1. Drop a few dashes of olive oil in a large pot and add the vegetables. Sautée them until they're coated in the oil and slightly cooked. 

2. Add the canned tomatoes, tomato sauce and paste. Stir. 

Simmering in the pot.

3. Add the spices and water, stirring until well-blended. Cover and let the concoction simmer for about 20 minutes. Stir it a few times to make sure it's not burning or sticking to the pot. 

4. Combine the cheeses, the sour cream, and the egg. whisk together and add a bit of pepper and basil to the mixture if you want. Some recipes call for oregano and that's perfectly fine. I don't use the spice because it simply does not agree with me!)

5. Spray your lasagna pan with cooking oil, or spread butter on the bottom. This is to help prevent any sticking of the cheeses while it cooks. 

6. Turn off the heat for the sauce and spoon a light layer of it on the bottom of the pan. 

7. Put in the lasagna strips, overlapping slightly. 

Adding the cheese layer. 

8. Add a just enough of the sauce mixture to cover the pasta. 

9. Add the cheese mixture. I only had enough of this for one layer. 

10. Lay another layer of pasta strips and add more of the sauce. If you have any cheese mixture left, add it, too. 

11. cover it all with cut or torn up provolone slices. It really doesn't matter how you arrange the pieces because they'll melt and ooze a bit during the cooking process. 

12. Cover with foil, puffing it up at the top to prevent it from touching the top layer of cheese. Cook for 30 minutes.

13. Remove lasagna from oven and remove foil, scraping off cheese that melted to it. 

14. Put the uncovered lasagna back in the oven for another ten minutes so the provolone cheese can brown. 

The finished product. Bulging at the seams.

15. Remove from oven and let sit for about 20 minutes before eating. 

16. Slice and enjoy! 

I hope you've enjoyed this recipe. There will be lots more where that came from. Let me know what you think of it, or any twists or improvements you might have. 

**I don't know why my food pictures always turn out like something from a 70's cookbook, but I can attest to the fact that it tastes really good! 

My Daughter's Happy Obsession

When did you learn to read? Age 4, 5, or 6? I remember I didn't learn to read until I was in the 1st grade, although I loved looking at pictures in the books. I think part of that was because I was the youngest and my parents didn't have the time needed to spend with me. Then again, my brothers and sister didn't learn to read until they were in school, either. 

My daughter just turned two in September and she's been showing a lot of interest in letters and numbers. Letters, especially. She can count to ten and recognizes some numbers, but her obsession is with the alphabet. In fact, she knows every letter and can recognize almost all lower case letters, too. 

Is it becoming more normal for children at such a young age to be early readers? Just the other day, she sounded out the work 'great' and said the word. She read. My husband has been saying for a while that she'll be reading the newspaper by age 3 and I think she'll actually be reading before that. 

We haven't done anything special. She has a few alphabet toys and watches Word World religiously. I bought some flashcards to test her to see just how much she really knows. The video below, to me, is amazing. She not only knows the letters, but the sounds they make.

You have to admit, my kid is pretty darned cute, too.